Climbing gyms are for climbing, obviously, but they're also for so much more! If you come to a climbing gym and look around, what approximately is the percent of people actually on the wall? You will see some climbing, yeah, but you'll also see many other shenanigans afoot. This blog post is in ode to all the random crap we do when we're not crushing like the glorious beasts that we are!
1. 40% Socializing - Because climbing is not about how hard you climb — it's how good you look doing it, and who you're seen climbing with. New set nights are the best, cuz they give you an opportunity to get up on the latest gym gossip ... and also get on some awesome new problems. Yeah, that too.
2. 3% Indecisively taking shoes on & off - Mmm, I think I might be done climbing for now, better take a shoe break. *unvelcroes one shoe* Oh wait, this problem over here looks cool, and IT'S OPEN! Better hop on it now. *straps shoe back on* *gives problem one run* Yeah, that'll never go. *unvelcroes shoe again*
3. 3% Where's my chalk bucket? - In a world where everyone has Prana boulder buckets ... WHICH ONE IS YOUR PRANA BOULDER BUCKET. I have no joke carted a boulder bucket to another wall, only to discover it wasn't mine when the phone inside it started ringing and OH GOD THAT'S NOT MY RINGTONE AND ALSO NOT MY PHONE. I snuck back, lowkey swapped it and no one was the wiser. #nailedit
4. 8% Looking out the sequence - When I am route climbing, I will only look out a route maybe once (and sometimes not even to the top if I don't have my glasses.) But when I'm bouldering, I study each problem more than I ever studied for any midterm in college. I microanalyze every foothold and handhold until I understand them on a metaphysical level. Some might say I'm thorough — I say I am procrastinating from just getting on the damn wall already.
5. 2% Messing up the sequence - The direct opposite of the previous, this is what happens when you don't look a problem out at all and just hop on with no regard to beta. I don't count this in the actual climbing percentage, because you screwed the beta up so hard, it counts negative towards your climb time. So look it out next time.
6. 10% Laying on the ground - Another classic procrastination tactic! Maybe your arms are tired, maybe there's no one around to talk to, maybe you just don't feel like doing anything. So you just lay on the mat like a lump, staring at everything and nothing. You know the mats are kind of dirty and it might be a little gross, but it's obviously that point in the night that you just stopped caring.
7. 5% Snapchatting - OH YES THEY PUT THE MARTIAN FACE HOLD UP BETTER FACE SWAP WITH IT. This one's pretty self-explanatory — whether you're a filter person, a face swapper, or someone who just likes to overshare a little bit, the gym is a great place to get some quality snappin' in.
8. 2% Shazaming the banger playing over the gym speakers - We can play some pretty sweet jamz here at Summit, and don't be ashamed to Shazam and add them to your own playlist. Maybe there's a particular song you always find yourself sending to, or there's a song you overheard that cute so-and-so at the next wall over was saying was "like seriously, my favorite song."
9. 4% Yoyoing between walls - Wall indecisiveness is a real thing. Sometimes you're getting into a groove on your project, but then someone else comes over and starts giving it burns, so you move on to another wall to wait to have it to yourself again. Or, the wall you're at suddenly turns into Grand Central Station and everyone and their mom is trying to get a turn, so you roll to the wall next door, to get only a few minutes to yourself, until the party moves to your wall and it's time to move back again. It's a delicate dance, and you probably find yourself doing it a lot.
10. 8% Eyeing other climbers on the wall - Gyms are great places to get some really solid people watching in. It's fun to watch newbies figure out climbing for the first time, and it's also awesome to watch the seasoned veteran move like a ninja up every problem. You'll see some real heartbreakers and some real triumphs if you just take time to look around while at the gym.
11. 15% Actually climbing - Time actually spent on the wall, making moves and using your glorious climber muscles for what they were made for!