Get The Gear: Stuff You Probably Don't Need Edition

Climbing is an amazing sport, with a variety of disciplines and a multitude of gear options. There are probably like, a billion pieces of climbing gear on the market, and probably a billion more being introduced every year. As to be expected, a lot of companies are coming up with some pretty ridiculous products in a an effort to do something new. There is a very fine line between innovation and complication, and some companies are just missing the mark when it comes to new gear that we actually need ... Innovations either need fill a void or fix a problem, but imma be real ... a lot of these are itches that probably just didn't need to be scratched. 

Joshua Tree scented chalk

Man, you know what's one of the smelliest parts of any climbing gym? The chalk bags! The bathrooms are great, and the rental shoes are almost a breath of fresh air but the offensive stench of chalk is almost too much to bear. 

Mammut harness pants

One of the most difficult parts of any climbing trip is deciding whether to harness up before or after hiking down to the crag. Ponder no more! With Mammut's Realization shorts,  as long as you're wearing pants, you're wearing your harness! 

Zlagboard!

For when counting gets too hard ... or your hangboard workout too monotonous without the addition of watching cartoons on your phone, the Zlagboard is a hangboard ... with a tiny stand for your phone. Maybe worth it to use to call your crush, so they can hear you grunt as you complete a set of pull-ups. I don't know if they heard you counting ... but you did over a thousand.

Grivel Twin gate carabiner

Clipping a carabiner isn't hard ... but do you want it to be? 

Edelrid crash pad tent

Ever been on an overnight bouldering trip and forgot your tent? Happens all the time, right? Well thank god your crash pad can be your tent, yeah? Or maybe the ol' boulder proj just isn't going down in good time, so instead of going home, you're going to hold vigil and live at the bottom of the wall till finally you snag the send. 

La Sportiva Ventor shoes

Ever want the sensitivity of a climbing shoe with the ruggedness of an approach shoe? Yeah, me neither ... so I bought this shoe! If I can make the hike all the way to the crag but can't be bothered to change my shoes once I'm there ... then maybe I need to figure some stuff out. 

 

Kong Frog

Because sometimes the wheel needs to be reinvented! I don't think anyone has had an issue with the quickdraw ... but in case you did, there IS AN ALTERNATIVE. You know what someone really just needs to invent? An all-time rope-gun to hang the draws for you every time, so it doesn't even matter if you're clipping or snapping or whatever-kids-are-doing-these-days-ing into the bolts, cuz you ain't even hanging anything!

 

Metolius shoe mat

It's a $7 welcome mat for your crash pad! Welcome ... to unnecessary purchases!

Ice Screw Drill

And because there is a God, technology has finally put us one step closer to Cliffhanger becoming reality. Remember the scenes where he bolt-gunned protection into the wall? This drill promises to drill ice screws into ice as you climb, for the fast and immediate protection only Stallone could need. 

 

Not saying these inventions are not without merit ... they're just for very, very niche markets. What do you think, did we leave any out?