A lot of us don't realize the effect that climbing has had on our lives until we think about how normal people going about their daily business, i.e. not crimping on EVERYTHING and not putting one single sticker on their car. We climbers are a unique bunch, and we're not shy about just doing our thing! Here are some of the 30 subtle, and not so subtle ways that climbers make themselves be known.
1. You use climbing tape or Krazy Glue instead of a Band-Aid ... or actual medical attention. Stitches schmitches! Krazy Glue's always got your back!
2. Your "nice" shirt and pants are your least wrinkled Prana items ... that at least sort of match.
3. You have carabiners on EVERYTHING — keys, backpacks, and/or attached t0 your Nalgene. Bonus points if those biners are unnecessarily lockers.
4. Your hands are always coated in a fine, white layer or chalk ... even after you've washed them.
5. You regularly use climbing terminology in everyday conversation with "normal" people. Like, "Oh man, you're really close to finishing that expense report! Clip the chains, man!" or "This new app is TOTALLY the beta! Thanks for showing it to me!"
6. Your "clean" clothes aren't actually clean, in the normal sense. They're just not covered in noticeable amounts of chalk.
7. You make "try-hard" noises during everyday activities. Lifting a heavy box? "BAAAAAAAHT!" Taking out the trash? "BIZAAAAAAT!" (Your neighbors love this one, trust me.) Doing your taxes?! "GUHHHHHHHHHH!!!!"
8. Your stories involve a lot of crazy hand gestures and out-of-control arm waving, and you care nothing for the public spectacle it makes of you.
9. You find yourself suddenly very interested in geology. When before a mountain was just a mountain, now you must know its rock type, how it was formed, and the best temps for prime conditions.
10. You have climbing stickers placed on EVERYTHING. You can't see the logo on your $1,500 laptop because it's covered with a Black Diamond sticker. And there is a direct correlation between how many climbing stickers you have on your car and how hard you climb. Science has proven this.
11. You publicly fondle surfaces and edges, trying to suss out holds, or even entire boulder problems. You know you're crimping the counter when your ordering at a fast food restaurant, right? CUZ YOU ARE. Also, you have ruined door frames from hanging on them too much. Peace out, security deposit.
12. Your gear closet is bigger than your clothes closet, and much better organized. Your rope is neatly coiled and your gear rack is color-coded ... but you couldn't be bothered to fold your pants.
13. You own more climbing shoes than regular shoes, and even that's not enough.
14. You only have a few locations saved in your weather app — and you better bet they're all climbing spots. Who cares what's happening in that obscure little Minnesota town your parents live in! But what about the temps in Joshua Tree?!
15. At least part of your most recent clothing purchase has been from either an outdoor-focused brand, or with the consideration "Could I climb in this?"
16. You choose potential romantic interests on whether or not they could belay you on the proj.
17. Your car is a mess, because you "haven't cleaned it out yet" from your last trip ... which was three months ago. Don't worry though — it'll get cleaned out the day before your next trip.
18. Your street shoe size gets smaller and smaller the longer you've been climbing. Eventually any toe movement whatsoever in your tennis shoes means it's probably time to move down a half size ... or two.
19. Suddenly, mini-vans are cool, and have endless potential for being converted to a dirtbag van, instead of having endless potential for being creepy.
20. All your time off has been planned out in advance, and very carefully entirely budgeted towards climbing trips. Better not take a sick day — those are being saved for Hueco.
21. You tie unnecessarily complicated knots for the simplest tasks. Gotta tie your dog's leash to a pole? Better double-girth hitch with a fisherman's back up and wait, is that a pulley in there somewhere? It's a Chihuahua man, he's not going anywhere.
22. Your playlist has started incorporating music overheard from climbing vids, and every time that song comes on you get SO PSYCHED BIZAAAAAAAAT!
23. Oven mitts? Not necessary when your hands are so callused they're dead to the world. (Legitimately not recommended!)
24. Your street shoes blow out in the toes before anything else, because you climb in them so much.
25. You spend half your day sighing and entering in the passcode on your phone, because the damn thing can't read the thumbprint that you demolished with last night's bouldering sesh. Technology just doesn't understand you, you complicated climber creature!
26. Even your job search is affected — does it give summer's off? And any move to a new city is entirely contingent on that city's proximity to climbing.
27. Suddenly hangboards and rock rings are acceptable, if not admirable, decoration for any house.
28. Your main criteria for adopting a dog is how cool that pup will be as a crag dog. You can just tell by the look on a dog's face if he'll pee on ropes or not. No one likes a rope-pee-er!
29. Your abilities of driving older, under-powered cars up steep and treacherous terrain are UNMATCHED.
30. You accessorize your Chaco tan with a rope ankle bracelet, and you are proud of it.